We have finally reached the point of no return in our house by giving Raquel, our 16 year old a smart phone. For about two years now, she has used Gabb Wireless, (www.gabbwireless.com) We were pretty comfortable here. She could talk on the phone and text. Only words, no pictures, the picture quality was horrible, and it did not acces the internet so social media was not even an issue. We patted ourselves on the back for finding this solution, and then we got comfortable. Knowing all the while that eventually, we would have to give in and let her have a smart phone, if for nothing else than to practice safe usage while still under our roof, but also for maps as she is a newer driver and could not find her way out of a paper sack! It is one of the things I am proud to say she gets from me! (More on that later.)
So there we were, Christmas morning. She had opened all of her gifts and there was still one small box under the tree. After all of her siblings opened their gifts, we brought out the last box, and I started filming. And you know what?? She cried ACTUAL tears when she opened the box! She was in disbelief. She said she thought the day would never come- See this picture?? 
I was laughing because was it really that big of a deal? Apparently it was! But under that phone was a tiny folded up contract... What's that? Yes. Just what I said, a contract. Rules she would need to agree to in order to take possession of her new found precious..... Yes. It totally reminded me of Smigel.(Think the Hobbit)
She did not put that thing down for hours! Thus the reason for the contract. We knew it would be needed and that the boundaries needed to be clear. In week 6 of the parenting class I am taking at BYUI, we studied screen time. It made me think about what my behavior and modeling has shown her about appropriate phone usage. I am so guilty of making my phone a priority, partly because my job is attached to it, but in larger part because it has just become such a bad habit! Since she now has a phone, and has to put her phone up at 10, my husband and I also do this. I also shut off my ringer at 7pm and try to enjoy family time and realize that not everything has to be answered right away. But, screen time does not just cover our phones. I have other children that have limits on video gaming, and other children that have limits on television. It seems to be related more to age and what they can independently access. The recommended screen time length for ages 2-5 is only one hour. This information and much more can be found at
(www.kidshealth.org/en//parents/screentime-bigkids.html)
Because I know these guidelines, I am careful to not just leave cartoons on all day, (there are always exceptions) and try to leave out things that will spur the imagination. For the older kids, We just have hard and fast rules that we do not watch TV on weekdays or Sundays. This leaves a small window and even then we try to have stuff planned and they have to ask for us to unlock their devices. We have to be careful what we allow in our homes. Television and movies can alter the spirit in our home if we allow it. Just yesterday while watching the superbowl, the minute the halftime show came on, I did not like the feeling I got, and we shut it off. We need to pay attention to those things because our homes can be a heaven on earth if we don't allow outside things to get in and often times we don't make the connection that television and movies are included in that.
I love that we are learning these things and starting a dialogue about the dangers of depression and social media in our kids. I think it effects adults the same way. We have to be careful to nurture ourselves and not feed the natural man. I think social media is the definitive part of that counsel. It can be easy to get caught up in someones else's highlight reel instead of our own beautiful lives...
We may not have it all together, But together, We have it all!!
XOXO. Jillian
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